Sometimes I wonder why I'm so biased against certain things in life. It sucks being such a staunch anti when it comes to even the simplest things. Why can't I just enjoy life for the sake of enjoying life?

Why am I so against recreational drugs, smoking, even drinking to a degree? What in my childhood affected me so much that I have such a negative perception of these things? I can't even look at a freaking hookah without considering the minute tobacco content involved.

I get so frustrated sometimes because all I want to do is enjoy life... and I believe that I do, 95% of the time. I make the most of each day to the best of my ability and I take time out to allow myself to take it all in without being overwhelmed. Yet there is always that nagging 5% that is such a negative nancy/debbie downer that whenever it rears its ugly head all I want to do is scream. It's torture.

I know for sure that I'm definitely too blessed to be stressed, but sometimes - just sometimes - I amp out. I'm only human and I acknowledge this. Whatever, I'll get over it. Maybe I need to experience pot, or drop E, or experience a hookah firsthand to understand that it's not all that bad. But that's just not me. I should just hold my head up and be confident in my own life and accept me for me, as I have been, and stop being paranoid over the most minute of things.

Live and let live. I will not compare myself to others as it is not healthy.

Comment! (1) | Recommend! | Categories: personal thoughts [t]

I haven't published an entry in NuTang for a while so I thought I'd catch up. I'm in my ANSC 119 class right now at UCSD (gestures in society) and the TA is going over the midterm.

This particular midterm was so abstract it was hard to grasp. I feel like I rambled on too much in some places and cited the same examples several times because I could not get a handle on what the Professor was posing with the quotes available.

Anyway, this is my last class of the day, then I go to RIMAC to work out. After that, I'm going home. I'm not staying on campus today because I just don't feel like it. The weather outside is beautiful at the moment, so I will take advantage of that while it lasts.

I have one quarter left before I graduate(!) and it has yet to hit me. Woo.

Time to refocus on the lecture.

Comment! (1) | Recommend! | Categories: personal thoughts [t], random ramblings [t]